I have pointy teeth, a strange smile, and a grand plan to conquer humanity. Don’t be afraid; I don’t have any weapons. I only need your wallets.
First, you looked at me and said, «What a monstrosity?» Then, «Oh, he’s even kind of cute.» And then, «Fine, I’ll just buy one.»
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Just one. My favorite human joke.
I hid in surprise boxes, came up with rare versions, and have since appeared on your bags, tables, and in social media.
Now you’re making the advertisement for me. You take my photo, show it to your friends, and they buy more. A free army! Brilliant!
You call this a collection. I call it a global occupation.
The funniest part? You think you own me. But it’s you who works every day to buy another me.
Why destroy humanity if it hands me its money voluntarily?